Disappointment or Opportunity

As we go through life most of us have experienced disappointment in some area of our life whether it be education, sport, work, love or some other aspect of our lives.  However with the passage of time, the significance of the disappointment diminishes and in many instances we can look back with the benefit of hindsight and say that from the disappointment that we developed the drive and determination to succeed, to change direction to identify a different opportunity.

This week my daughter was disappointed following a musical audition, and I was disappointed for her. It took a huge amount of effort on my part to step back and allow her to navigate the disappointment- I was urgently trying to find the opportunity.

However, in watching her a few key skills that we all need to be mindful of were very much in evident.  So here goes:

Know what is and what is not in your control – The experience of disappointment may be outside our control and due to the decisions or actions of others.

What is inside your control is the level of effort and commitment that you exert.

(When you know that you gave something your best shot, you can take comfort in that, if not you can learn what needs to be done)

What is inside your control is how you respond following the disappointment.

A little wallowing is OK you just don’t need to unpack and go live there.  We do need to take some time process the feelings, to have the ice-cream and snuggle under the duvet and then we need to let go of that negativity.

We need to take care about what it is that we focus on. As we move from initial disappointment to resignation and acceptance of what has happened it is important to be very aware of where we are directing our efforts.   If we keep looking back at ‘what if’, and ‘if only’ then we are not providing the space for the new opportunities to present themselves. We can control what it is that we focus on!

So my challenge to you this week is to consider your patterns when it comes to handling life’s disappointments – do you really give your activities your very best efforts? Do you take up residence in wallowing, do you stay focused on what you did or do you move to what you will now do differently? Whether you turn your disappointments into opportunity, or not, is up to you!

Warm Wishes

Mary